hi, how are you my dear visitor , here you will find some articles, poems or just thoughts about many subjects that concern you , i guess that you will enjoy them because i am just a normal guy , like everyone else living on this planet, sometimes have fun , sorrow, good and bad times, some times i lose hope, some times i get so pretty happy about my life, i want to discover myself, to find some dreams and make them ture, so i would love to share all of this with many people in a good way , read all the articles you want, and feel free to leave comments and share your thoughts. hope you enjoy your time here
every time i was on my pc watching porn i had this conversation in my head of God telling me you don’t have to do this
i wondered why Lord ? i know you say it’s wrong , i know it’s a sin, but i always told him, God at least that girl i am watching loves me enough to give me her body.
this is sensitive and if you never watched porn or kept yourself of it you wouldn’t understand and actually i envy you =)
back to the ” she loves me enough to give me her body ”
today i was thinking of this phrase i always say, so i decided to make a comparison between a whore’s love to me and Jesus’ love to me , by “whore ” i mean no insult, this word means to me a girl who would give her body to a guy for money
so here’s the comparison
A Whore’s Love
|She loves me for money||He loves me for free *|
|She wants what’s in my pocket||He wants all of me **|
|If I pay her none she wouldn’t let me see her face again||He loves me till the end, and he died for me while I am still a sinner ***|
|If I am a homeless man, living in the streets she won’t let me touch her||He is the Holy one though he embraced me with all my filth on the cross ****|
*The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3
**34 But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:34-30 , ( I find this verse very reasonable, coz if I love someone so much wouldn’t I want all of him/her to love me ! that’s the same I guess, God loves us, he wants us, he wants all of me)
*** But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans(5:8)
4 Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all ( Isaiah 53:4-6)
that’s all, it’s just there’s a better source of love than that, Jesus himself .
I looked at myself saw a pile of bulky trash
looked through my chest saw leftovers of a heart and some ash
I saw a failure walking on stalks
a worn out painting better hid in cloaks
a lost cause a broken glass
an attrition with no pause, a rusty brass
I wondered why the sun was shinning on me for another day
I didn’t want to be a part of it’s painful milky way
why the sky won’t just fall down crush me under it’s stars
why do i have to be this being carving his own scars
my thoughts were all self blaming
my soul was sour and blazing
I had no respect but a rant
felt less alife than a dying plant
but one day someone told me about two crossed pieces of wood
and how God stood where i should have stood
it was the sign of the son of man
for all people not for a certain tribe or clan
These arms are stretched out for me
these hands are nailed for me to be free
for a moment i let go of how i think of me
realized how blind i am ,i really need to see
and i’ve feltl love and mercy like never before
and was written on the sign ” you worth dying for ”
you think these roads have left you alone
shouldn’t have believed you can do it on your own
because this null you think you are
I the Lord see you a shinning morning star
for long you have believed in the devil’s lies
open your ears listen to my love cries
in my arms i will rest you of this strife
in my love i will bring you back the life
listen to me forget what you held before
my love,to Me, you are worthy dying for.
—And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.
This he said, signifying what death he should die. (John 12:32-33)
In thge sunlight I see your grace
your love in a child’s smiling face
in an old rooted tree
I see how deep is your love for me
It’s hard O lord to keep on moving and walking the way
it’s hard to take point and wake up with all these burdens
a confused mind
a bleeding broken heart
with eyes that are blind
and a deceiving fake art
chained tears held inside my soul
continuously waiting for freedom’s call
but here I am waiting with faith hope and trust
and you start to show up i can see you through the dust
and I want to tell you how often i screw up how often I fail
how I run and blow everything up
and how I have be come so pale
My longing for you isn’t a passing by desire
it’s what you’ve done in me it’s your burning fire
I Need to feel your warmth I’m in a bad need of your arms
I’m scarred by my own thorns Lord heal my harms
I need to feel your tender hands on my lonely skin
I’m waiting, Holding on , fighting to win
open up my eyes
free the tears
embrace my sighs
drive away the fears
Hold me , embrace me
be my home
heal me, restore me
call me “My Own”
Lord I can see Hope in your eyes sparkling
I can feel a smile on your face whispering
come my love it’s okay
don’t worry my love I’m here to stay
I’m here my love just don’t go away
just hold on to me I’m all you have, I’m the way
thanks for passing by, if you feel touched by these words in a way or another , don't miss the chance and hold on to Him he's all we have got :)
I cried out to You O LORD, I said "You are my refuge, My portion in the land of the living psalm 142:5
you have felt my humiliation didn't despise my frustration looked at my heart and saw it's sickness touched my thought and felt it's weakness you showed me you wanted to heal me your desire to bring the smile back to my face for i've become a broken boat in my stormy see anchored to the despair i embrace but now i can see you calming down the wind writing to this gloomy chapter an end and now i can see the mile on your face spreading the light all over the place haha, now i can find a rest in a smile making this moment worth the while now after all is silenced and in peace i can listen to your sweet stream transforming my spread ashes into one beautiful piece now i can share your dream setting for me a road of healing I'm happy with this song we are both appealing this sea has become a shinning one enjoyed by my eye so pretty reflecting the beauty of the sky reminding me of the day you drew it all breathing a colorful spring out of a dead fall but the point is that you made everything out of nothing this "nothing" word I'm scared of you made everything out of this "nothing"
Just a thought comes to me sometimes, when i feel i am not in my best form with God , when i feel away, mostly i think i am more of a devil than a good man of God, in these times when a friend of mine needs some help, needs a prayer, needs a tip of how to deal with something, when I help this friend, by praying with , or since i passed through the same situation a while ago and God helped me and I tell him about it , encourage him by how God helped me, was there for me, didn’t forsake me, and this work , my friend becomes encouraged, pleased because of knowing that God wont let him/her down , i feel pleased and say oh I am still functional, still something good can get out of me , the well God put inside me is still working : ) and it’s like yaaay : ) , but then a moment of sadness comes, oh man shouldn’t I be helping myself first and then help friends , if i am away from God how can i bring someone near to him, I can’t help myself so now i am expecting myself to help someone and then ok but i gave that friend a tip or an advice on how to deal with what’s he is going through ,yup that’s right but a devil knows what would help that friend, what would keep him close to God, so actually it’s not God’s well in me that helped the friend, consider it a knowledge or something, anyways when this thought goes in my mind I totally lose hope and feel sad despite i was just happy few seconds ago, but the point is : If satan knows what can bring a man near to God he wouldn’t tell that man about it, he would lie ( in John 8:44 Jesus said about satan ” for he is a liar and the father of it.” ) and do his best to drive that man away and to keep him from doing what can help like praying and repenting for an example, or asking for God’s help and will to be done , satan would never tell a man about what would help him, but an angel would do : ) , it’s known that angels help men, so whenever you get this thought remember if you were a devil you wouldn’t have helped your friend, but God’s well is still in you, the Holy spirit is still in you, and it’s just a call to come back to God, a reminder that it’s true you feel away but you are just a prayer near , be encouraged and be happy coz God is still in you, and if you feel you wanna help if you feel that the holy spirit wants to use you , don’t fail it, don’t withdraw , don’t feel sad and move a way , but be happy and be encouraged because it’s just a message of hope God is telling you , you are near , take this encouragement and go back to God he is waiting : ) in zechariah 1:3 “Therefore say to them, ‘Thus says the LORD of hosts: “Return to Me,” says the LORD of hosts, “and I will return to you,” says the LORD of hosts. ”
return to Him and he will return to you : )
A while ago I didn’t use to ask myself how did he think of me or how did she think of me.
The way I used to look at myself was from my own eyes not other’s eyes.
Lately I started to see myself through the others’ eyes, why was that ? I believe it’s because I am not satisfied by myself and because my eyes no longer think I am good enough. So I started to judge my self and think of my self the same way people around me think of me, and then the problem started and I will give few examples .
– when I do something that seems wrong in someone eyes ,not necessary wrong but maybe (not good enough) or ( could have done better ) I start questioning my self get sad and frustrated WHILE I know that according to my personality , my character , my capabilities and my opinion that this is the best thing to do or the best thing I can do.
-I no longer have goals of my own or approaches of my own I think in my head this way : “ I am going to it this way , mmm no, what would X think of that mm, no I should do it his/her way ( X’s way ) “ ,that lead me to do the following
– if I am going to do something there are 2 possibilities
1- do it X’s way .
2- do X’s thing not my thing.
And this lead to that I do nothing I like because I am doing X’s things , and the things I like to do , no longer feel pleasure or excited about it because I am doing it X’s way.
This thing is simply my life.
And you can imagine how it is too weary ,heavy and makes me tired and loaded all the time.
This kind of life is just plane gray, colorless.
So I decided to go back to who I really am, if my own eyes see I am not enough if I see myself not good enough ill love myself and be better one for myself,
It’s not easy but it is going to work I am going to be myself and ill pray to be myself.
As first start I didn’t write an article maybe for 8 months and now I am writing one that means I am getting back to who I am, and let me say to you if you love doing something and stopped doing it because you looked at it from others’ eyes then shut those eyes and look at it from yours, its valuable in your eyes, you love it, so don’t stop doing it, it’s maybe a talent, a gift or just something you enjoy ,it’s a part of you and God gave it to you so that you enjoy it, and have it in your life.
I have one more thing , since I am getting back to be myself, questions are playing drums in my head,
-Am I going to close the door for God ? , will I no longer ask for his opinion ? will I no longer share myself with him?, my thoughts ,my ideas, my questions, my dreams? .
-If I find something bad in me and not pleasing God and it really needs to be changed, how does God going to react about it, is he going to blame me ? , is he going to be mad at me ? because if this is God’s reaction then I am afraid that the same thing of not being myself is going back again, this time not because of people but because of God : ( . and in everything I am going to do I am going to ask myself is this what God wants me to do ? ( and I mean here doing normal or good things or something I love ,not sin ) and I’ll start running in the same wheel again.
But thank God that his reaction is not what I mentioned, his reaction is the following:
In James 1 : “2My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”
I bolded verse 5, because it’s saying if I lack something, God is not going to get mad at me, instead he is offering giving me that thing I lack, like wisdom as it’s written above, wow it’s a relief, I don’t have to be afraid of God because if I want to be myself it’s not something he is against because he loves me as I am (
Romans 5:6 For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. 10 For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.)
And the things I lack I don’t have to be afraid of him because of it, or have to hate myself because of it, ill ask him to give it to me as this is what he wants, and I should remind myself that he is this way : “ who gives to all liberally and without reproach “.
And another thing :
(proverbs 3:11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction;
12 For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.)
That’s all. Thanks for reading ,leave any comments if you like to. Thanks again
Have a nice day.